By George A. Boyd ©2019
Q: What keeps the sense of ego separate from the Soul? What happens if we drop the ego?
A: I can share from my own experience how I have learned to cope with having an ego, as opposed to trying to dissolve it or destroy it.
I don’t feel cut off from the Soul, but from my egoic perspective, I recognize it as another order of Nature. So as I am anchored in human life and it is anchored on the spiritual Plenum, there is no way my ego is going to become the Soul—the seed atoms that make up the egoic complex come out of God and are placed in the helix of human life to enable the Soul to express in finite space and time, in this world.
While we can move attention into Union with the Soul and look from its perspective, and can view the limitations of the egoic perspective, the Soul does not drop the egoic atoms until it is ready to drop the body for good at the time of death.
I’ve had experiences of dropping the egoic atom and the entire complex in Samadhi. You cannot think. You cannot speak. You cannot move. You cannot breathe. This is not a very functional state.
Now we can give ourselves the suggestion that only God is real, there is only the unified oneness of the Soul. With practice, we can hypnotize ourselves into believing this for a time—but even if we can keep our attention fixed in this realization, the egoic complex does not dissolve—and to the degree we attempt to deny or suppress that complex and its needs, we only succeed in driving this underground into the unconscious.
I find that it is much healthier for me to not try to disappear the ego, but to accept its legitimate place and purpose in the hierarchy of the mind—and where possible, to take care of its needs, so it can function optimally.
I went through a phase when I was a teenager, where I went around believing I was God, but this was also a period in my life when I was not particularly functional—I would not have been able to hold down a normal job, study in school, or complete a project. I could float in this blissful state; but my life, and the expression of my Soul through my life, was not yet established.
I also had a subsequent realization that the God in me (Soul) was just a tiny atom of the Great Life that pervades all things (the Divine); this helped me heal my solipsistic delusion.
Until individuals take the First Initiation—particularly those who dwell on the Psychic Realm—they can come to believe they are the All, and conceive that the entire universe revolves around their needs.
This “spiritual narcissism” is only transcended when these individuals realize something that there is something far greater than themselves—and genuine humility is born in their Souls.
A spiritual teacher needs to fulfill the requirements to become an instrument of the Divine, and express that anointing to serve those who come to him or her. This expression can take the form of initiating, teaching, counseling, coaching, guiding, empowering, or healing others; it can be expressed through art or writing; it can radiate through their Presence.
Many spiritual teachers choose to remain much of the time in an altered state of consciousness. I do not. I do not abandon my humanness. I do not remain detached from my ego. I enter altered states of consciousness when I need to do my spiritual work; when I’m done, I come back.
This means I directly encounter my ego. I feel my suffering and my joy.
I don’t presume I am perfect; I am not. I don’t presume I know all things; I do not. I don’t presume I have miraculous powers; instead I judge whether these alleged “siddhis” produce tangible, measurable results.
As a human being I recognize I have flaws. My intuition is not always accurate. My reason sometimes comes to irrational conclusions. My senses sometimes deceive me. There are times when my beliefs turn out to be erroneous and unfounded.
I continue to quest for answers as a human being. As a human being I am not Almighty God, and I will never become Almighty God. If in meditation, I am able to unite with the atom of the Divine that dwells within my Soul, as a human being, I will never be that atom.
I call upon our brothers and sisters who have imbibed New Age teachings, I AM Movement teachings, and the teachings of the Yogi Preceptors and Gurus—who teach that you are Divine, and that your human Self and its personality and the ego embedded in your experience of your human life are unreal—to not lose touch with your humanness and your vulnerability, as you are immersed in the ecstatic state of union with your spiritual core.
There are times when we must bring forth our inner Divinity. There are times when we must function as a human being. May we find the wisdom to recognize when it is appropriate to operate in each state.