By George A. Boyd ©2022
Q: I often say I will do something, and then, when the time comes for me to carry it out, I don’t do what I say. How can I fulfill my word and not be such a flake?
A: This is a matter of connecting with your will, and then, ensuring you do what you say you would do. Many people intend to do something, but they don’t follow up on what they tell others, because they are not backing up what they have promised through will-empowered action.
The language that you tell yourself what you are going to do often gives a clue as to whether or not you are actually going to do it. For example, statements that don’t directly connect to action include:
“I’d like to do that. That sounds like fun.”
“I wish I could do that.”
“I want to do that.”
“I could do that.”
“I would do that if [some condition] is present.”
“I might do that.”
“I intend to do that.”
“I plan to do that [without specific time frame].”
“I resolve to do that.”
On the other hand, statements that link to the will include:
“I must do this and I will do it, whatever it takes.”
“I will do this, without fail.”
“I shall do this.”
“I have planned this for date and time certain, and I will ensure it is completed.”
“I am committed to carry out this action at the date and time specified.”
“It is a matter of honor… of keeping my integrity…to ensure this is done.”
“You can count on me that it will be done.”
You may have been surprised to find resolve on the disempowered list. Why is this? A resolution is a decision to take action, but volition must be sustained to ensure that the action you resolve is carried out for as long as is necessary to (a) turn it into a habit and made a regular part of your routine, or (b) perform the chain of actions required to achieve a goal is carried out and the objective is attained.
If you are having problems keeping your word, it is important that you learn to tap into your volition and act from this dynamic, change-creating force. One of the ways you can actively connect with your will is to change the language you use when you promise someone something. Examples of changing your internal dialog include:
Instead of saying, “Oh I’d like that… it sounds like fun,” you can say, “I will be there, without fail.”
Instead of saying, “I want this,” you can say “I will obtain this through [explain exactly what you will do] by [when you plan to achieve it].
Instead of saying, “I intend to do this,” you can say “I will do this, without fail.”
If you can reliably activate your will, you will change your life and achieve the realistic goals you set. Try this and see how this changes your life.